ECUADOR!

It. Is. Official.

I am going to Ecuador! I received the email from AFS just this afternoon confirming that I have been accepted! Now all they have left to do is place me with a family down there. And I have to get immunizations, a visa, etc... But whatever! I am accepted! Nothing can bring me down!

Thank you for your continued support and prayers :)

Funny Story...

SO...

You will never guess what I found out this week.

Seriously.

Don't even try to guess.

Stop trying to guess.

You'll never guess.

Okay, so I will tell you:

I am not going to Argentina.

But before you freak out on me, let me explain...

I will still be going somewhere in South America. It will still be the same school year and all that jazz. It just won't be to Argentina specifically. The program spots for Argentina were full before my paperwork went through.

My options now are:

Ecuador

Paraguay

Hopefully I will find out very soon which one of these for sure. And I will let you know when I do :)

Still praying

As Plain as I Can Be

I guess my blog has not been as clear as I would have liked.

I am still working many of the specifics out, and then the company has more to work out even above what I control. Here is a little bit of what I know.

1. I will leave sometime around July/August 2010. I will fly out of Florida, and into Argentina.

2. I will live with a family somewhere in Argentina. I do not know who, or where. All I know is that they will be inspected and guaranteed to be safe. They will feed and shelter me as I live in the Argentine culture.

3. I will attend a high school there. My credits will most likely not transfer back to Fishers, and even if they do they will count only as elective credits.

4. I will return around June/July 2011.

5. I will attend another full year of high school, and graduate class of 2012.

As I find things more clearly, I will update you all. I appreciate your curiosity and support, but please do understand that this is a process I must go through one step at a time. If you think you are feeling impatient about knowing what is going on, consider how I must feel!

Wrestling Through the Word

Here's the gist of it all

I found out yesterday morning that the likelihood of my 2011 graduation is slim to none.

Apparently our school does not value global experiences as much as I had hoped...

Now, throughout the day I responded through anger and bitterness, namely toward my school district and administration. I am sad to report that I did not respond to this obstacle in the correct manner. What you need to know about my response is not anything specific... just that yesterday was a rough day. Decisions have always been my weak point.

But I am thankful that I was given such a wise, caring mother that she would encourage me up and out of this pit of despair. After having sorted a list of pros and cons for my options regarding AFS, she handed it over for my deliberation. Naturally, my first instinct was merely to measure the length of pros for each option, and make a decision based on the metaphorical "weight" of each of these on a scale. But it was on the back page of her document where I found the most heart-wrenching argument of all; on the priorities list was delineated just what I have always claimed to be true, but have recently forsaken in favor of merely "going through the motions." Here is the list

1. Spiritual

2. Mental

3. Emotional

4. Physical

5. Familial

6. Future

See the bold print up there? Yeah, that is what I am here to explain.

I have been mulling over the first chapter of James this week, trying to soak up the idea of "wisdom", whatever that may actually be. Sometimes I wish the Bible would clearly define it, with a footnote at the bottom linking James 1:5

If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.

to Hezekiah 2:10

Oh, Cat Hilbert, herein lies your answer. You will be wise to study abroad in Argentina. The Lord thy God blesseth thy plans, and herein assureth your success, safety, and security.

...

Would someone PLEASE inform me if you ever find a verse that reads like that? I have looked and looked and still cannot find it.

The unfortunate thing here is that no new Bible verses are being written that will read like the Hezekian 2:10 above. So, instead, we must read on in the ones that have already been written. See James 1:6a

But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering.

So I must pray.

With an open mind.

Sheesh, that's the hard part.

My heart tells me I should go. My heart. My emotions. Can they be trusted? 1 John 3:20 shows us that God is greater than our heart.

For if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things.

BUT, But, but

1 John 3:21

Beloved, if our heart condemn us not, then we have confidence toward God.

Confidence I like. Confidence I can live with.

*Don't get me wrong; I am not done praying about this. (And likewise, I welcome your prayers and have a thousand thanks for those of you who will keep me in your prayers) *

But I do believe I will go forward with my missions to Argentina.

And, if possible, my trip will be elongated to reach an entire 10 months.

~I will graduate 2012.

~I will go to college when I am 20 years old.

And I feel okay with all of this.

I have confidence in all of this.

Foreigners in Our Own Land

This weekend I was granted the opportunity to attend a mid-year orientation for AFSers currently studying in Indiana and Michigan.

Besides of course being a 24 hour stint of fun and craziness, it was also a great learning experience for me. At the end of our first activity, the director stood in front of us and began to explain what we were to learn from what we had just done.

No, we had not just wasted 30 minutes of our lives drawing simple objects (flower, elephant, queen, etc).

No, it was not intended to just be frustrating.

Yes, it would have been easier to explain our drawing if we were all to just speak in English.

Yes, there was a reason we were not.

What could that reason be?

The chatter stopped. And it was only then that I actually looked around me, and for the first time noted all the diversity in that very room. Who would have thought that, standing in a room in Spiceland, Indiana, I would experience culture shock? I used to think that Indiana was my state, with my caucasians, and my protestantism. But "Praise the Lord" it's not! In that very room I saw 4 Thais, 3 Germans, 2 Italians, and countless other high school students representative of countries around the world.

They were all so... beautiful. So... confident. So... adventuresome.

I am not going to proclaim a hatred for caucasians. I do not completely resent being born as one. But I will say this - the greatest feeling is that moment that you realize, as you look around a room, that you are in the minority. And yet, you are not afraid. Gone are the days of hiding behind your own skin color, your own race, your own ethnicity. I cannot claim my home country, state, or even town for the placement of just my people.

I hope - I pray - that experiences such as mine become commonplace. I hope that, as cultures collide, their is no oddity noted in the presence of myriad ethnicities. We shall all view ourselves as foreigners - foreigners in our own land - and be perfectly alright with that.